Adrienne
Some people feel…
that their eyes, butt, or smile is their best feature, but for Adrienne, it was her hair.
(Picture from 2011 when first starting photography business)
That's why…
the decision to buzz her hair off was a very tough one, but it also was a new beginning. What lead to her having to cut her hair? Well, she was losing it. Why? That's where Adrienne’s story begins.
Adrienne had…
a relationship with her Dad (Bubba) that can be only described as twin telepathy. She said she would often feel a particular way, and then she'd call Bubba and find out that he was feeling the same. Adrienne escaped a physically abusive relationship and moved back to St. Petersburg to help take care of Bubba, whose health had been getting worse over the last several years.
(Picture take out on a night several years ago, of Bubba and Adrienne dancing, something they did often.)
One day…
she went to check on Bubba, and he had a massive stroke. She was able to get him to the hospital, and he told her he was okay. She needed to go to work, so she left. That was that last time they physically talked, because he took a turn for the worse and needed a ventilator to help him breathe. She resented her job for making her come in when she felt she should have been at the hospital with Bubba.
As Bubba's next of kin…
Adrienne had to make some hard decisions. She could keep fighting, but that would mean he would never be able to move, eat, or talk again, and he'd live in a nursing home. Or she could let him go. She asked Bubba twice what he wanted, and he was able to muster up enough movement to tell her to let him go.
In Adrienne's experience…
what on TV looks very peaceful, “letting someone go, and it happening quickly,” isn't the way it happens in real life. After they removed the ventilator it was a week to a week and a half for Bubba to finally “go.” When he did, Adrienne could no longer feel his presence in her. The “twin telepathy” was gone. He also wanted to be buried, but unfortunately the cost of a burial was not possible for her.
She always assumed that he would come visit her in her dreams or in other ways, but he hasn't yet. It makes her question to this day if she made the right decision about “going to work instead of staying at the hospital, letting him go, and not burying him.”
After Bubba's death…
Adrienne had a break down and started drinking way too much. She ended up at the hospital for what she thought was for two weeks, but was really a month. She was having seizures and hallucinations (which turned out to be memories of previous traumas from when she was younger), and she was told that due to the damage to her liver, if she ever drinks again she will die.
Adrienne had…
the support of her boyfriend Shawn, and Mother, and without them she does not know what she would have done.
However, dealing with COVID (right before Bubba became sick), grieving Bubba’s passing, leaving her job, being in the hospital for a month with liver damage, stress, dealing with an old physically abusive relationship, and realizing she is still dealing with trauma from when she was younger, all put so much stress on her body that her hair started to fall out. She tried to cover it up with hats and scarves, but it got to the point that she could no longer hide it.
On October 15, 2021…
Adrienne shaved her head “to prove to [herself] she is stronger.”
“Showing your flaws, weaknesses, fear, leaving yourself vulnerable, allows walls to breakdown. Exposing what’s inside [is] more important. Facing the real issues and being so grateful to be able to come out on the other side empowered,” Adrienne said on her Facebook post. “I’m an open book. I probably over share, but my intentions are to help others through my experiences and mistakes as others have done the same for me.” Adrienne also said, “I started yesterday in tears, and ended the day feeling loved and supported. Please help me show others love and support. If anyone is feeling like I did please reach out for help. Don’t bottle it in. Speak to someone. My line is always open with a listening ear. If I can’t help you we will find someone who can.”
(Picture taken from Adrienne’s Facebook video, for her documentation)
Adrienne is now…
over 100+ days sober, and does go to meetings, but not because she wants to drink. She goes because she gets support from people who understand what she is going through. She journals all the time, and has a new job cleaning Airbnbs (which is very therapeutic to her). Shaving her head was shaving off the past and starting anew.
If you or a loved one…
is going through any of this, please reach out for assistance. www.aa.org is a great site to look for meetings in your area. There are also 24/7 hotlines that can be called to help get you set up with counseling, and hospice has grief support groups and counseling. You don’t need to do any of this alone, so please reach out for help or any assistance.
